Sweet Beginnings

I (Mom) was freshly 30 years old. Earlier that year I'd had bariatric surgery and was in the prime of my physical life, down 100+ lbs, and I was enjoying life. I booked myself a 2 week vacation exploring the Cycladic Islands of Greece, and I was dating around and having the time of my life. I was using a dating app on my phone - Bumble - where you could swipe left or right to indicate interest or otherwise on other people's profiles, and if you match with each other then the woman has to make a move in 24 hours or else the match expires - but the man can "extend" once per day on one person if they want to add 24 hours to the match. 

I was living in Virginia and you Dad was living in Annapolis, MD which was more than 1 hour away. It just so happened that I was driving to Ohio for a work trip and your dad was visiting Uncle Robbie in DC. As I drove through DC and was stuck in traffic, I swiped away on Bumble to beat the boredom and your dad was swiping on the other side of town. We just happened to match, but because I ended up busy on my work trip - I didn't check my notifications and the match timed out. On the way home, I got a notice that your dad had "extended" on my profile - and I felt a little guilty about that, so I reached out and messaged him my phone number. 

Thank GOD your father took me up on it (despite his anxiety) and called me. We talked for a bit, and then said that generally we should find time to meet. On Saturday, July 29, 2019 I had one of the busiest days planned. I went to a salsa dancing class with some friends in the morning, then to a church picnic, and I had a date planned that evening with a different guy.  After the dancing lesson I found out that the guy had to cancel, so I called your dad up and suggested that if he wasn't busy that night - we meet up for dinner. I'm pretty sure your father almost had a panic attack, but he hid it well and agreed to come meet this strange and very spontaneous girl. We decided on National Harbor at 7pm I believe. 

7pm came around and we met at the Awakening Statue. I remember your dad was wearing a gray shirt that had Dumbledore/Gandalf on it and I knew at once that he was my kind of nerd. We started by walking around the statue garden, then found a spot at the Irish restaurant. We joked and laughed - and had the world's worst "Irish Nachos" which were stale french fries with meat and cheese on top. Ah well. They made for great inside jokes later on. We walked back through the statues and landed on a bench together so we could talk. We talked about anything and everything - our childhoods, life aspirations, the type of relationship we were hoping for, expectations, etc. I remember that halfway through the night a mother and her young son came up to us and they were selling bracelets that her son had made. We bought one. I still have it :) We continued talking and the next thing I remember is that we looked at our phones and it was 1am. It took us another hour to end the night - and each head our 45 minutes home (and then go to church in the morning!!) It was the best first date that I could have wished for, and I feel like I got to know your dad so well on that first night. 

Perfectly enough - at church the next day (The Falls Church Anglican) Reverend Sam Ferguson gave the most amazing sermon on biblical relationships between a man and a woman. He spoke about the "dance" of marriage and  Ephesians 5:22 where it talks about obeying. I'm more on the side of conservative feminism, so that verse never really resonated well with me... BUT he explained it in such a wonderful way that it finally "clicked" He said that "obeying" isn't necessarily what you would think - but that as in a dance, you can't have 2 people trying to lead at the same time. It gets chaotic. He said that it is the husband's job to lead them both toward God, and that when he stumbles or falls off the path - that it's the wife's role to hesitate in her dance steps, and therefore communicate to the husband that he needs to rethink his route. I thought that was such a beautiful way of putting it. He also emphasized that by saying that Husbands should love their wives as God loves the church - means a sacrificial love in the way of Jesus. Anyway, it got me thinking about marriage and relationships - not necessarily in terms of your dad yet, but it really made me think about the kind of relationship I wanted to have in my life. 

Your dad and I ended up having a conversation that morning about the sermon though, and we both were on the exact same page with it. Your dad even got very emotional and told me how his parents have been praying for so long for him to have that kind of relationship (he'd never been in one before) 

We had many more wonderful conversations over the next few weeks, and we got to know each other fairly well, but there was always some weird formality between us that felt awkward and stifling in a way. We had more dates. To a board game bar in DC followed by froyo and harry potter geekiness (which resulted in me posting a picture of us having fun on facebook [with your dad's permission] and your great grandpa Bob trying to add me as a friend... on our 2nd date...) we saw a musical at your dad's church (Esther), we went with a large young adult group to Shenandoah River to go tubing, and when your dad got sick I came over to his house near Annapolis and made him food. 

My trip to Greece was rapidly approaching though. We hadn't made anything official - and that almost killed things for us one day when we were on the phone and your dad said the phrase "well, if we start dating" to which I confusedly replied "aren't we already dating" because to me "dating" means going on dates, but to your dad it meant being in a relationship. One of his biggest fears was to end up in a relationship without even realizing it. He wanted to make things official by asking someone to actually be his girlfriend. I didn't think of things quite that formally... and your dad had a panic attack and told me that he "couldn't do this". I was very confused, but after he talked with Uncle Reid, Aunt Sam, and Aunt Jess - he realized that maybe we had a difference of definition, so we talked through it and he calmed down. 

I went to Greece, your dad and I talked a lot while I was there, but things still felt a bit weird and I thought the whole time that we'd probably stop dating once I got back. I was (obviously) very wrong. The day after I got back home there was a dedication ceremony for the new church building. Your dad had agreed to come meet me at my house and we'd go to the ceremony together. When he got there - instead of feeling like ending things, I realized how much I had missed seeing him while I was gone. We enjoyed church together, he met your Aunt Dolly, Gloria, and Esther - and then we hung out at my house and watched football together and talked a lot. Something miraculously happened and all of a sudden the weird wall between us was gone. From that moment on we were almost inseparable and closer than I've ever felt with anyone else.